Mercuric Retrograde


For those who follow astronomy or astrology, Mercury is retrograde when it appears to move backwards across the sky.

The idea is that the Greek god Mercury is a messenger, and when his planet is in retrograde, the delivery is warped or the message gets lost en route. The astrologers say that when Mercury is retrograde, things don’t work.  Energy doesn’t flow as it should when things are moving forward.  We may find obstacles to normal process.  We may find ourselves wandering aimlessly to and fro and never moving forward.  Completing things becomes much more difficult than usual.

If I were to apply this thinking to the past few days, I could blame Mercury retrograde on:

 Having to go to 3 big grocery stores all around the capital district in order to find a turkey weighing less than 22 pounds, for the weekend gathering coming up;

 Having finally found said turkey, only being able to obtain one that was frozen, about 36 hours before it needed to be cooked;

 Having purchased the above mentioned turkey and having planned to go away on Friday, spent the day watching it thaw because I needed it Saturday for dinner;

 Having finally succeeded in willing said turkey mostly thawed, having it freeze again after spending Friday night on the porch in a cooler;

 Having the marinade for injecting said turkey turn into potato flake sludge that would not draw into the syringe, nor inject into said turkey;

 Having decided to go to the gathering where the turkey was needed on Saturday early, rather than at 10:00 pm on Friday, and not awakening on Saturday until 9:15 am, in spite of the cat sitting on my face from about 7:00 am;

 Having finally packed the car for the trip to the gathering and realizing that I needed a pan and some foil, and thus having to stop at a grocery store to get said items;

 Having driven more than one hour of the one-and-one-half hour drive to the gathering and realized that I had forgotten the gas cooker and gas tank that I would need to fry the above mentioned turkey;

 Having found a gas station selling gasoline for $3.30 and then pressing the 89 octane button and paying $3.61 (at least I only needed 5 gallons);

 Having driven half way home and met spousal unit at a Hess station and forgetting to get from him the electric match needed to light said burner;

 Having realized that the burner in question required an adjustable crescent wrench in order to connect it to the gas tank, went to Lowe’s and had to purchase a super-duper-heavy-duty-huge-size adjustable crescent wrench because the only smaller one that Lowe’s carried does not open wide enough to turn the valve for said cooker to tank connection;

 Having taken nearly 4 hours to make the 75 minute drive to the gathering, to arrive without enough time to cook said turkey before dinner;

 Having decided to settle in for the night and finding that I failed to bring a pillow with me;

 Having finally fallen asleep on a bed as hard as one in China, and having to get up and walk a seeming half mile to the toilet, no less than 5 times between 11:30 pm and 8:30 am.

(This sounds a lot like the song “Why Paddy’s Not at Work Today.”  Here’s a link to the Clancy Brothers doing it:

 What was NOT caused by Mercury being retrograde was the fact that the above described turkey, once it was finally cooked, was delicious, and enjoyed by all who tried it, including me, accompanied by luscious conversation with about 40 friends of 3 generations at said gathering.  All bad and trying things are so relieved by good times and good food with good friends.

Thankfully, retrograde ends on November 10.


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